Andrea's Heart Expressed

Dancing Heart

Andrea — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 16:01:47 +0000

I just got back from dancing! Well, not literally, but allegorically my heart went dancing. Ironically, my dancing heart resulted from some much-needed alone time. I had plans to meet a friend, but on my way to meet her, I cancelled. I needed to be alone! I felt bad, but it was a must. Sometimes, each one of us has to say, “No, I’m not going to make it.”

On the other hand, something I rarely say no to are books. One book I’m currently reading for seminary is The Leadership Ellipse, by Robert Fryling. Fryling’s forth chapter is titled “A Dancing Heart.” Hence, where I get the allegory of a dancing heart. In the fourth chapter he mentions a story about his friend explaining in order to be a “present” for others, we need to be in God’s “presence.” For me, I cognitively became aware of His presence in my alone time while sitting at PF Changs. I have to admit once in a while I have special nights where I retreat to a bar with a book and bible. I refer to these “special nights” as my book, bar and bible nights. They make me happy!

Anyway…reflecting back on the idea of being a present, earlier this week I wanted to buy some gifts for various friends. Although I wanted to buy certain presents, my bank account was telling me I shouldn’t. My obvious thought was in order to give I should have enough money to pay for each gift. Even though this is an obvious dilemma it got me thinking how bankrupt our society is physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If we don’t have anything in us, we have nothing to give. No one can give on empty! Tonight, being alone, I got something. I got revived, rejuvenated! I feel alive. I have something to give.

Overall, it was mandatory that I stop and take a moment to bask in nothingness. Although, I was alone, enjoying my nothingness, I was receiving so much in return. In my nothingness I gained peace, a bundle of joy, and a whole lot of happiness. Going back to Fryling, he describes when one is in God’s presence there is a natural enthusiastic response. For example, Acts 3:8 “Walking and leaping and praising God.” Walking and leaping is the best analogy that describes my dance after being in His Presence. I hope you can take time to be alone and rest in His presence too.

Cheers!

Thanksgiving Reflections:

Andrea — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 19:01:03 +0000

I recently was struck by Deuteronomy 6:11. I know you might think how can anyone get anything out of Deuteronomy that is relevant for today? Or, what does Deuteronomy have to do with Thanksgiving?

Well take a look at Deuteronomy 6:11 with me, and maybe you too, will find it to be a reflective Thanksgiving passage.

Deuteronomy 6:11

You walk into large, bustling cities you didn’t build, well furnished houses you didn’t buy. ~The Message

Houses are filled with all sorts of goods [or food] that you did not fill [or work hard to get]. ~NRSV

Now I’m sure you had to buy your house, and you had to fill it with goods; but I bet you didn’t have to do all the work. There had to have been some people go before you. For instances, our houses or lets say even our refrigerators are filled with all sorts of goods. The majority of us didn’t get up today or yesterday to milk a cow for the whip cream we will put on our pie this afternoon. In addition, probably none of us killed the turkey we will be eating later on today – someone went before us! Someone did the work.

Who has gone before you?

Maybe you’re a pastor and the person who went before you labored hours and hours to plant a church. Maybe you’re a successful businessperson because of an entrepreneur’s vision and dream. Maybe you’re a student who is privileged to listen to knowledge from professors who have thought, studied, and written countless hours. Overall, so many people have gone before us to make our day, our work, and life a lot easier! Granted, I know I can’t give all the credit to the people who have gone before us because we still have to labor to keep things going. However, I challenge you to think where or who you would be if someone hadn’t gone before you? And, if you are that someone who is plowing the way for others to follow – thank you – keep plowing!

I truly believe if we reflect on the work people have done before us, we should find something to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving

Extra Snuggles!

Andrea — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 01:05:19 +0000

Often I hear my two-year-old at night or even during the day in his little voice say, “I want to hold you.” AKA – I want to be held. Something I also hear him say every night and nearly every quiet time is, “Can I have snuggles?” or “Snuggle me two mins?” I love snuggling him and I don’t think I’ve ever denied him.

Today, as I put him to quiet time he routinely asked, “Can I have snuggles?” but he added ”I want a lot of snuggles!” After I heard his cute little voice say he wanted a lot of snuggles I had a big smile on my face! I thought the same thought, I want a lot of snuggles!

As I reflected on how my son longs to be snuggled, I thought how I long to be snuggled by Jesus. Jesus never denies me of snuggles. He is always willing to stay with me for two more mins. Today I was snuggled as I listened to the song, “My Beloved.” You can be snuggled today too. Why not ask for, extra snuggles!

Talk to God – He wants to talk to you.

Andrea — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 21:47:35 +0000

I love talking to God. Seriously it is like one of my favorite things to do. I haven’t been able to talk out-loud for 15 days without pain. I have missed getting carried away in a conversation. I have missed getting carried away in a conversation out-loud with God.

Today, I was talking to God (not entirely all out loud), but I was praying for some wonderful pastors & other people. As I was praying I thought: I am so amazed that God uses me. I’m a stay at home mom who lately gives & takes medicine nearly all day & changes diapers for a living. (Ha- I don’t even get paid, but it is truly life living/giving occupation.) Really God can use anyone! Talk to Him – He wants to talk to you.

Check out Destiny in Bloom today as I am a guest writer.

Andrea — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:18:49 +0000

This week is raise awareness week at Destiny in Bloom. I was privileged to write about my sons’ life threatening food allergies. Please click on the below link or on Destiny in Bloom which is located to the right under Blogs I read and you can read the article I submitted.

http://destinyinbloom.com/a-life-death-affair/

Why God, Why?

Andrea — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 22:48:26 +0000

Last night, I was complaining to God asking, “Why God, why? And how much longer …?” I don’t understand why people have to suffer. So I ask God, talk to Him, or maybe I should just call it complaining. I think it is healthy to complain to God. I think it is healthier than complaining to a friend or relative. God can handle anything, people can’t. God doesn’t mind us complaining to him. I mean truly, why would He not long to hear the honest cries of His people? John Goldingay author of Old Testament Theology: Israel’s Gospel says, “In such times of crisis, Yhwh listens to Israel’s cry, helps and delivers, so that the people triumph. “[1] God longs to comfort us just like a mother comforts her newborn. Newborns can fuss and fuss and fuss, but a healthy mother longs to comfort and sooth her baby. God too, longs to comfort us.

Reflecting on how God wants to comfort me this week I dwelt on the thought, -God longs to comfort me like a mother, and protect me like a father. God can comfort me in the night, and correct me in the day. Goldingay speaks of Yhwh being “a passionate and therefore jealous and angry lover.”[2] He was upset when the Israelites followed after other gods. He desired all of them “the entire person, inward and outward”[3], and He desires all of us. I am glad God longs for us. I am glad He desires to hear our hearts whether they are sad, happy, excited, frustrated, angry, etc. He wants all of us, and I hope you can say with me, I want all of Him.

[1] Goldingay, John. Old Testament Theology Volume One Israel’s Gospel. Madison: IVP Academic, 2003. pg. 623

[2] Ibid., pg. 633.

[3] Ibid., pg. 624

I Want to Sit on my Daddy’s Lap

Andrea — Mon, 31 May 2010 06:06:00 +0000

Today I sat next to a dad who was holding his little girl in church. She probably was around 6 years old and it made me think how I would like to sit on my Dad’s lap.

Earlier this morning I woke up pondering the difference between seeking and praying. I feel as though I have been praying a lot, but not truly seeking. This afternoon I spent a little time looking up scriptures on prayer as well as what it means to seek. One definition from (http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=seek) caught my eye as it said “go to or towards.”

That is what I want to do when I pray this week. I don’t want to just say a prayer. I want to go towards Him. I want to sit on my Dad’s lap.

Love is Looking at You

Andrea — Sun, 09 May 2010 06:20:30 +0000

I don’t know about you, but one thing I really like is to be noticed. I grew up as an only child. I have a half-brother, but he is twenty years older than me. We never grew up in the same home, so we joke that we are BOTH only children. One thing you probably know about only children is they like attention. They like to be the center of attention! I’m no different from any other only child, as I like attention.

Some of you might not have grown up as an only child, but you too like attention. Who really doesn’t? Most women I know love attention, and probably would be classified as high maintenance. I therefore am a high maintenance only child! My husband is well aware that I need lots of love and affection. Just the other night he said to me, “you don’t have just one love language, you have ALL FIVE!” Yep, I think He’s right. I have all five, and I’m in continual need of never-ending love and affection.

One thing I’ve learned is that my husband can never fully satisfy me with all the love and attention I need, but I do know someone who can – Jesus! I didn’t come into marriage thinking that my husband would fulfill my needs, because my needs have always been met by Jesus. Truly, no one else can meet them.

Even though Jesus is the only one who can fully meet my needs, I really like when a friend, acquaintance or someone I don’t even know acknowledges me. Acknowledgement can occur in various ways. For instance, one way I like to be acknowledged is by a simple hello or smile. I usually don’t need a drawn out “Hey, how are ya?” but a simple hello when passing is nice.

The thing I like most about a simple hello or smile is it usually involves eye contact. When you make eye contact with someone, you are noticed! When you are noticed, you feel valued in the fact that someone took the time to acknowledge you exist. A simple acknowledgement can do wonders.

We all know Jesus did wonders in the Bible. However, have you thought about how he did wonders by just looking at someone? There are a few stories in the Gospels where Jesus made eye contact or looked at someone and great things happened. In Mark 10:21 The Message says, “Jesus looked him hard in the eye and loved him!” The story goes on to say how Jesus told the man to sell whatever he had and give it to the poor. This man was holding on tight to his earthy possessions and couldn’t let go. It is sad that he couldn’t let go, but it is delightful to think that Jesus took the time to look at him. He looked him right in the eye and “loved him.” Could you imagine being looked at by Love?

The great news is Love looks at us every day sometimes I think we just don’t look back. Luke 13:12 mentions a lady who was sick and was so bent over with arthritis that she couldn’t look up at Jesus. However, Jesus could look at her. I love these words, “When Jesus saw her, he called her over. “Woman you’re free!” He laid hands on her and suddenly she was standing straight and tall.” So even when or if we can’t look up, Jesus looks at us.

I believe that Jesus is looking at me and even when I’m sad or struck by some thing or circumstance in which I can’t even look up, He sees me. He never takes His eyes off me. He cherishes me. He wants to make eye contact with me and show me love. If you can, look at Him, and show your affection back to Him. If you can’t look up, revel in the fact that He is looking at you. Love is looking at you.

Grace Extended

Andrea — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 22:30:41 +0000

I recently wrote and discovered that my personal definition of grace is Jesus covers me. Since that discovery, I’ve realized that my definition only pertains to Jesus because that is the only person I’ve learned how to receive grace from. I haven’t completely learned how to receive grace from myself or others. That doesn’t mean I’ve never been given or shown grace toward myself or others. Alternatively it does mean that I’m familiar with grace, but defiantly need to know grace more. I said in a recent blog, “I have met grace.” Now I want to get better acquainted with her; grace and I are going to hang out. I am going to give myself to grace.

One of the ways I’m going to give myself to grace is by letting my house go, and be okay with it when it is not in perfect order as I would like. Truly my house is never in perfect order, but I like it to be presentable when guests come over. Recently my husband and I had plans to go on a date and a friend was coming over to watch our kids. That morning my plan was to wake up, make the bed, vacuum, fold clothes, put away dishes etc. I did get the dishes put away and my 5-year-old vacuumed our living room so there was some progress. However my active two-year old decided to participate in whatever he could find available. In addition, the 5-year-old got distracted from vacuuming and started to play. So there were messes being made faster than I could clean up.

Due to four hands making messes and only two hands cleaning up, I started to cry. My thoughts were, “I just want a clean house!” I felt so overwhelmed, frustrated, and angry so I decided to call a friend. My friend has four kids, and totally understands. Her conversation to me was beautiful and grace filled. She said “You can’t shovel snow as fast as it comes down.” She continued to say words of grace and encouragement and I started to cry more.

As tears came down my face I got more acquainted with grace. I started to allow the grace to replace the shame I had let build up. I had shame for getting upset with my kids making messes faster than I could clean up. I had shame that I wasn’t going to look my absolute best for my friend coming over that night. I had shame for having shame.

In that moment as grace replaced shame my friend showed me how I could practically hang out with grace that day. She said, “Andrea you can clean one room, – only one room, and it can’t be the messiest one.” Leaving my house undone that day made me feel vulnerable. Daniel my friend at GFU has an excellent definition of grace. He says, “Accepting grace requires that you accept that you are inadequate in some area.” I am defiantly inadequate to keep my house spotless.

That day even though I just said I was going to make the bed, vacuum, fold clothes, and put away dishes, I had SO MUCH MORE to clean up. To give you a clear picture of our home that day, I had stacks of bills on the table, crayons, coloring books, plastic Easter Eggs, Bendaroos, sandwich meat all over the high chair, a cup of coffee, and much more. Do you get the point there was absolutely no room on the table? In addition, I won’t dare to describe my kitchen counters or the 1000+ square feet of mess that was surrounding me. (I hope your laughing because you can relate.)

So although my house sounds messy, I’m not saying that it’s a good idea to keep ones house a mess. My house really does get cleaned most every night between 9 and 11PM, and then everyone wakes up and it’s a mess all over again. What I am saying is that I’m going to give myself grace when I don’t look the best, when my family doesn’t look the best, when my house doesn’t look the best, when my church doesn’t look the best …when anything or anyone doesn’t look the best I want to represent grace.

Love Your Neighbor as Yourself – even if they are diseased

Andrea — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 07:00:52 +0000

I have been progressively sick for over two years for no apparent reason. At first, I was determined that it was because I was pregnant. However, my baby came out and I haven’t stopped being sick. A funny story throughout this is when I was pregnant my older son often would imitate me when people would come into our home. As soon as people would walk in, he would show off by demonstrating what mommy does all day long. He would run into the bathroom, and make this awful noise and pretend to vomit. Ha funny, – but not so funny after you have been dry heaving for over 2 years!

Often on the days when I spend more time in the bathroom then I would like, it really makes me sad. One day, I was driving and asking, “God, why did You make me if I was going to end up with a disease? I feel defective.” I was so sad, and didn’t understand what purpose or value I had if I was going to be a person living with a disease. Then God spoke to me, as I drove past these beautiful trees. (Something you need to know about me is I LOVE TREES! Seriously, I like them more than flowers! I love trees!) As I passed by these trees I was mesmerized by their beauty. They were so big and beautiful. It seemed like they could kiss the clouds. They were simply majestic. I happen to notice some of the trees had moss growing on their trunks. I wondered if the moss hurt the trees? Then I thought even if the moss was hurting, or will hurt the trees they remain beautiful. Truly, I think when people drive by these beautiful trees they don’t see the moss; they just see the trees magnificent beauty. You can’t help but see it. Seeing these amazing trees radiate with life and exuberance showed me that even though they might have a disease or a defect they are of great worth. I was amazed to think that these trees still have purpose even though they might have a disease. Driving by these beautiful trees gave me such a smile, and I’m sure they continue to bring smiles to onlookers alike. That day I learned something meaningful. Even lives that are flawed are still beautiful and valuable.

Tonight, I was reminded of that incident. Again, I was driving asking God, “Why would you make me if I have a disease? I don’t like diseases!” Then I heard “Love your neighbor as yourself.” The problem with that verse for me wasn’t: love my neighbor, I LOVE my neighbor! Well do I? Can I love my neighbor if I don’t love myself?

That verse sunk deep into my heart as I was thinking if I don’t love myself with a disease how am I going to be a chaplain and love people in a hospital who are sick and diseased. I want to love them. I think I do. Something I do know is that I don’t love myself with a disease. Therefore, how can I love my neighbor as myself? I realized that I have some work to do! If I have a disease, then I am going to be on a journey loving myself even in my sickest state because I want to love my neighbor! I want to love each person I reach out to, and show them the hand of God. I want to have compassion on all who are sick. God help me.

So in writing this I stumbled on some great news. Some trees “500 to 700 years old, support quantities of moss and are still healthy and thriving.”[1] I don’t want to live 500 to 700 years, but I would love to be 99 still healthy and thriving. I think I can….

[1] Sprunt, Jr., Alexander “Sandy”. Emerald Kingdom. January 1961. http://www.corkscrew.audubon.org/Information/EmeraldKingdom.html (accessed March 29, 2010).