When my kids were little, they had the cutest time-out chair, ever!! I wish I were small enough to sit in it. It was a nice place, a safe place. My boys could re-gather their thoughts and behavior, and start again. Sometimes their cries would outlast the timer, but I would give them the opportunity to stay in that nice, safe place until they gained their composure. Better said, I would NOT let them get out of their time-out until they cried it all out!
As a mom, I have found myself in need of more time-outs than any other time in my life. Maybe even more than I had as a toddler? I don’t know, but recently I needed a time out. I needed a timeout for a cry out!
Remembering back when my boys cried out, in a time-out, I never saw it as a gift. In fact, the scripture in Romans, which mentions kindness leading us to repentance, was certainly not in my mind, nor theirs. However, recently when I was alone, my time-out could only be described as a glorious gift.
Of course, you might be thinking anytime in which moms are alone is a gift, and I would concur 100%! However, when we are particularly placed in a time-out, do we see it as a gift? Do we see that kindness leads to repentance? Do we see waiting – leads to a promise?
As I think about my kid’s lovely blue time-out chair, I can vividly imagine myself rocking back and forth as if I were in a time-out, in their chair. It seems I’ve been rocking back and forth for a while. My back is beginning to hurt because there are no cushions. Even though I’ve described the chair as nice and safe, it isn’t the most comfortable. It’s really hard. It’s just a little wooden rocking chair.
Now I begin to wonder, “How did I get here? How did I get in this time out? It seems like I have been in this chair FOREVER!! When is the timer going to go off? Did it go off already? Am I still complaining and nothing has changed since I first sat down?”
As I continue to think to myself, I say, “Okay, I am going to gain composure. I am going to get out of this time out!” Then all of a sudden the tears, the true tears start rolling. I confess my envy, jealousy, discontentment, and all the stuff that has built up in my heart. I let God know I am scared. I didn’t intend or purposely do something wrong to get in time-out. Alternatively, it was just life. Many things aren’t fair, and just as kids, we get mad, we pout, and we end up in time-out.
As I discovered myself in time out, I realized God wasn’t harshly disciplining me. I just needed to gain composure. I was acting like a child complaining in a grocery store. I wanted all the pretty items on the shelf. I saw others getting items off the shelf, so why couldn’t I get something new?
As tears continued and my soul cried out, I got something new; I got mercy.
The next day, I woke up and when I looked at my phone, I got a text that said, “Praying for you today: Lamentations 3:19-24 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I said to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’”
Again, Jesus revealed I have something new, I have Christ’s compassion, His mercy, which never fails.
Although I will continue to see people have new items, (new careers, new homes, improved bodies, new levels of education) in which I may not get, I am promised to have mercy; and mercy unlike everything else I listed never fails, never breaks, and never ends.
He does not forget the cry of the humble. Psalm 9:12b
Andrea's Heart Expressed 